It is important that children learn how to behave and control their own behaviour as they get older. Parents and carers have a very important job as a role model for their children in helping them to learn how to do this.

Have you ever smacked your child?

The answer from many parents reading this will be yes. Every parent experiences frustration with his or her child at various times. It is at these times that a parent may smack in the heat of the moment, but this is an outlet for the parent's frustration, rather than a helpful way of influencing the child's behaviour.

However, simply because lots of people may have smacked their children does not mean it is the best way to punish your child or ensure good behaviour. Those who say smacking is acceptable have argued that it is not harmful in the long term and is the most immediate form of discipline. It is much more helpful and safer to notice and reward your child's positive behaviours, to encourage the behaviours you want.

The number of parents who smack their children is decreasing and lots of those who continue often do so because they are not sure that other methods will work.

Setting limits and boundaries

Teaching children from a young age by setting limits and boundaries on them and explaining the reasons for these boundaries and limits helps children to develop self-discipline. Smacking, which seams to control your child from the outside, has no long lasting positive effects. In fact smacking usually has to increase in severity in order to have the same effect as your child grows up. Here is where the thin line between smacking and hitting can be crossed.

For more information which can help see the 'Boundary Setting' and 'Independence and Growing Up' pages on this website. They will have information which can help understand issues involved with behaviour and how you can improve the behaviour of your child without the need to smack them.

Advice for parents and carers

• Make it a general rule not to smack your child.
• Tell your child they have crossed boundaries or broken family rules.
• Use your tone of voice and facial expressions to help them understand
  Always explain your reasons.
• Use other ways to discipline, either by setting limits and boundaries and explaining them, being firm and confident, ignoring trivial bad behaviour and rewarding good behaviour (maybe using a star chart).
• Smacking gives attention to a child's bad behaviour
• Smacking teaches children that its ok to hurt others
• There are many positive alternatives to smacking i.e. time out zones
• If you are concerned about your own or someone else's smacking get support from the organisations listed below.
• If it is someone you know, offer practical help and suggestions about alternatives (see the links below).

Child protection & physical harm

In this society parents are not allowed to physically harm their children regardless of any individual, cultural or religious justification or tradition. Child protection professionals will assess incidents of physical ill treatment of children, in order that they can understand, prevent and explain the consequences of further incidents and support parents and families to fulfil their caring responsibilities.

Warning signs

• A child who flinches when they fear they will be hit.
• Smacking a child in frustration with force, which in hindsight was unnecessary.
• Leaving bruising and other marks on a child.

Contacts

Talk to your Health Visitor or local Children's Centre for advice and information.

NSPCC helpline number: 0808 800 500

Barnardo's (Parental advice line) Tel: (01268) 520224

For details of you nearest Children's Centre, which can give you advice, support and practical help about a range of issues, contact the Children's Information Service Tel: (01273) 293545 or see the 'Map of services' on this website..

Links

www.childrenslegalcentre.com/
The Children's Legal Centre is a unique, independent national charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people.

www.nspcc.org.uk/

The NSPCC offers families a range of information, resources and advice regarding a variety of child welfare issues.

www.barnardos.org.uk/

Barnardos also offer families and parents advice and information regarding a range of child safety issues. See their website for more information.

www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/

The Brighton & Hove City Council website also offers information regarding a range of issues for parents, carers and families.

www.sussex.police.uk/

Website for Sussex Police which gives you information about the Police, what they are doing in Brighton & Hove and across Sussex, how to report crime and make complaints.

www.stopitnow.org.uk/

The stop it now campaign aims to raise awareness throughout society of child abuse and child welfare issues. They offer a range of advice and information regarding child abuse and what parents and carers can do to help and protect children.