The relationship we have with our family can be stressful at times, especially as a young person. Things will have changed a lot from when you were young and sometimes it takes a while for parents to change their attitudes towards you. At the same time, they might just be worried and scared of letting you go out alone and wary of what might happen.

Sometimes arguments can kick off about wanting to stay out late, go out with mates or go to a party or a friend’s house. When you think about it, it’s natural for parents to worry, even though it might not seem like it at times.

The change from being a child to becoming a young person can take a lot out of everyone. Growing up and getting older means renegotiating the boundaries parents have set on you in the past, for example, how long you can stay out late, when you have to go to bed etc. Changing these boundaries and redefining your relationship with your parents can cause a lot of stress to both you and them. It’s natural and a part of growing up. But how this is done can make things a lot easier or a lot worse.

You have to remember that their children growing up and becoming young people can be a bit of a shock to parents, and their nice little boy or girl has suddenly turned into a ranging hormone filled teenager!

Having Respect

The most important thing to have in any relationship is respect, and respect goes both ways. Having respect for one another is an important part of communication and the ability to be able to discuss and solve any issues or problems. Having respect for one and other helps when talking things through, understanding other people’s points of view and coming to a compromise, getting things sorted without causing anyone grief.

When things get out of hand

Sometime however, things can get very carried away and out of hand. At times some young people run away from home or have arguments with parents all the time. It can get very stressful for everyone and you might feel like no one is on your side. When things get like this it is always a good idea to talk to someone you trust, get advice from them and talk any issue through, so that you get a good idea about it, what might be causing it to happen and what you can do about it.

When things get really bad, it might be an idea to go to people who can help. There are several places in Brighton & Hove which can offer confidential help and advice and a place where you and the family can talk and sort things out. One of these is the Brighton & Hove Mediation Service, see below for information, but there are other places you can go to as well. For more information about the different options and choices you can have talk to your Connexions PA, Youth worker or get advice from the Youth Advice Centre or Young People’s Centre, see map of services for more information.

Remember, you’re never on your own.

Brighton & Hove Independent Mediation Service

Mediation is a way to resolve problems you are experiencing with others in your family or community. Mediators are impartial, they do not judge, take sides or tell people what to do. Mediators follow a sequence of steps which allow those involved to identify possible solutions to problems, they listen to everyone involved and open up conversation to improve understanding.

Our service is free, confidential and independent of all other agencies.

To find out more contact:

Brighton & Hove Independent Mediation Service

Basement Office, Ecclesden, Grove Hill, Brighton, BN2 9NG

Tel: (01273 700) 812

email: mediation@bhims.org.uk

Website: www.bhims.org.uk

Young people can also talk to professionals at the Youth Advice Centre, Young People’s Centre or other youth services in the city for more advice and information. See the ‘Map of Services’ for contact details.